i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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