Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
