I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
