Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
