he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
