Are we in a gay sports bar?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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