my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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