Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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