I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
