It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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