just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
