This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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