I think I won the penis lottery.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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