I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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