honey bunches of taint.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
