spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
