I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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