we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i barfeds in our rink
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
