Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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