i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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