the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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