The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
