So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
