1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They took my balls.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
