I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it's great music for shaving your balls
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
