I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
