I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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