Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my poor anus
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
