i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
As shirtless as possible
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
