Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
