my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Gay?
German.
Pity.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
