A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My vagina just clenched in fear
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