The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
