So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
