Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
