You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
