The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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