Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
