he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
