Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
