man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I still have a little drunk in my system
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
