I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
