she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
