this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
