I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
