wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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