Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
