office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
