They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My dick has a subreddit
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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