So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
