So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
