i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
This is not my ceiling
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
